An addendum to being evil: being evil really has consequences, but just who the fuck cares anyway? Not your regular police-man-joe-public-investigative-crap-wannabe. Just last night (it seems so long ago — for reasons that have put nice little black bags under my wee orbs.. um, eyes) while discussing - you guessed it - work, our regular lawyer friend stopped over for a chit-chat. We had, by that time, finished an equivalent portion of coffee, coffee-tea-cham (just, really now, wtf is that?!) and tea, teh-o-ice-limaus to rival any pub outing. Our bellies were stretched to bursting, and I could hear the seams of my shirt screaming.

Our lawyer friend was decked in berms and a tight, tight tee-shirt; fashionably dismissive, very hoi polloi, of-the-people, but really, he just doesn’t give a fuck. Anyway, he sits himself down, swinging that monstrous doctor’s bag of his to his side and settled in for a teh-o-kosong, with ice. He broaches his topic for the night, that of newly-made celebrity lawyers (I can’t remember that fellow’s name, sorry) and what started out as a measured take on the evils defense lawyers face, became in the space of 5 minutes a full-on rant about policemen and investigating officers who couldn’t find their asses if it was handed to them.

I could only agree wholeheartedly, a faux agreement to whatever he said, since I didn’t have an alternative opinion at the time. At one point in his eloquent tirade filled with anecdotes from court, he pointed off to a road junction and said: “There lah, they always stop Singaporeans. They only stop Singaporeans, especially during the puasa month”.

We tried moderating his outburst with quiet, careful smiles. We entreated with softly-spoken comebacks, shifting nervously in our seats since, by 9.00 pm that night, we had pretty much enjoyed the largesse of a bloody indian muslim shop, so talking about ‘puasa months’ having close contextual relations with corrupt policemen is just such a no-no lor. That, and I was on a private, personal crusade to make our dear friend cease his constant gesticulations…since such vigorous gestures stretched his surfer-boy tee-shirt in such odd-angles, throwing into relief the sizeable mounds of flesh beneath.

It wasn’t a sight to see, ok?

What does all of this have to do with being positively evil? Only this: we concluded at the end of our short night to make short shrift of policemen we encounter from that night on, the devil be damned for the consequences, ya?

By 11.30 pm, I finally left the office having rushed here and there like a lemming answering some unspoken imperative. On the drive back, I made the very conscious decision to avoid a police roadblock just ahead, just so the poor policemen on duty would be spared my wrath. So comic.