cookie-cutter comments

You get caught in the same haze. It’s so hollywood-movie, so very normal. I’ve been here before, and it seems these days I walk in circles. No pretensions of a superficial Return with a capital ‘R’, surely. Just jaundiced mummery reaching for some certainty in the everyday.

Something luthien said struck me as being completely true: “this is what this job can do to you. all your perspectives turn hayewire. but you know what the worst consequence of this job? overt self-importance. you think you’re invincible (quite honestly, you’re quite invincible to a certain extent), you think you rule.”

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What I dislike most is when bloggers get authoritarian with their posts. No matter, they have their own good reasons, I suppose, especially when you consider the larger contexts in which they operate. Jeff Ooi’s recent post about the use of technology over here(post1) sounds like an apologia of his previous post about bare-naked Chinese women in lockups, which you can find here (post2). In any case, it is a poorly thought-out defense, if at all. He notes that readers have not made the connection between the use of technology and empowering citizens to bring the government to task in his post about said naked lady.

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It’s late and my attempts at purging what refuse I had digested this evening hasn’t developed into a meaningful report. It’s all in pieces and I can’t make sense of it. That’s not a good thing, sir. Not making sense of madness is ok, but really, being the cause of that madness is quite another. I’m drifting, I don’t even know what I’m saying.

I had the shelling of my life this morning. It brought me back to my senses, and I wanted to throw punches. Throw punches. The last vestiges of decency cast aside for one, pleasurable smackdown. I was on the verge today, with him. But I took it out on a 3.30pm appointment instead. He sat down and I sat down and I dispensed with small talk.

I told him: “You’re over-charging”.

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